


Coming Clean

by OpalizedBone



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Sweet, Telling the truth, Truth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 04:01:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13755888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpalizedBone/pseuds/OpalizedBone
Summary: After the final battle, Lyna and Leliana have a heart to heart, detailing exactly how Lyna survived killing the archdemon.(Lyna is my dalish elf rogue Warden)





	Coming Clean

It had been a selfish choice, really. Selfish and awful and wonderful all at the same time.

  
The archdemon was dead, slain by Lyna’s own hand, her blade thrust deep into the dragon’s neck—but she still lives, as does Alistair, all thanks to Morrigan.

  
She’d agreed to Morrigan’s little ritual, had let the witch and Alistair create a child for the sole purpose of absorbing the archdemon’s energy. The warden hadn’t liked the idea, and Alistair liked it even less, but what else could she do? Sacrifice herself? Let Alistair sacrifice himself? No, it had to be done.

  
But now, weeks later, traveling with her love, the guilt ate away at her. Morrigan had disappeared after the battle, presumably off to birth and raise the demon child alone, and Lyna had not looked for her. Instead, she and Leliana traveled around Ferelden, enjoying each other’s company free from the blight.

  
Now the elf sat next to the fireplace in an inn, a small place in a little town near the Frostback Mountains. She stared into the flames, rubbing the handle of one of her daggers, deep in thought. The guilt gnawed at her, burrowing deep inside her bones.

  
“May I join you, my love?” Leliana’s sweet voice interrupted her brooding, and she looked over to see her lover standing next to her. She nodded her assent with a small smile, and Leliana took the chair next to her. She placed a hand on Leliana’s knee and went back to staring into the fire.

  
Leliana didn’t know about the elf’s inner war. The only people who knew about the need for a grey wardens sacrifice to end a blight were the wardens themselves, and the only ones who knew of the dark ritual Lyna had allowed were Alistair, Morrigan, and herself. The Warden had so far refused to tell her love about such a horrible thing, but her guilt chipped away at her resolve.

  
“Something is troubling you,” Leliana observed, and Lyna looked at her. There was worry in her blue eyes, and the Warden’s heart clenched at seeing her lover in pain.

  
“Yes,” Lyna said, for what else could she say?

  
“Tell me about it?” Leliana prompted gently. Lyna looked down at the dagger still clenched in her hand, her dark skin glowing amber in the firelight.

  
“I...was selfish,” Lyna began, her voice barely more than a whisper. Part of her screamed at her not to tell, to keep it a dirty secret, but how could she knowingly lie to the woman she loved? The woman who had followed her to the edge of death itself?

  
“It is good to be selfish, sometimes,” Leliana stated, and Lyna nearly laughed. Yes, she supposed it was, sometimes.

  
“Sometimes,” she agreed. “But I worry it was not good this time.”

  
Leliana gathered up the hand on her knee and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. Lyna took courage from that gesture, and pressed on.

  
“Do you know why the grey wardens are necessary to end a blight?”

  
There was a pause in Leliana’s voice before she answered. “No, I don’t.”

  
“When an archdemon is killed, it’s essence is drawn into another dark spawn, and the cycle begins again,” Lyna explained, still staring at her hand. “Unless a warden is there to intercept it.”

  
“I am not sure I understand,” Leliana prompted when Lyna paused.

  
“The warden that strikes the killing blow...absorbs the archdemon’s essence instead. And normally...normally they die.”

  
“But you did not die,” Leliana pointed out.

  
“No.” A pause. “I could have. _Should_ have.”

  
Another pause.

  
“How?”

  
Lyna sighed, took her hand away from Leliana and pressed her face into her palms, fingertips scratching over her short white hair, catching on pointed ear-tips.

  
“Morrigan.” It was all she could say at the moment.

  
“She disappeared after the battle,” Leliana said slowly. “Did she absorb…?”

  
“Not...technically,” Lyna mumbled. “But…”

  
“But?”

  
“The night before the battle...Morrigan came to me. Proposed a way for both Alistair and myself to live, no matter which of us killed the archdemon.”

  
Leliana’s silence was deafening.

  
“A...a ritual,” Lyna continued, her voice low. “To have the archdemon be absorbed by someone else. Some _thing_ else.”

  
“Blood magic?” Leliana whispered.

  
“No,” Lyna shook her head. “Ancient magic. Flemeth’s. Alistair and Morrigan...well, Morrigan needed to be...with child. For the ritual to work. For the archdemon’s essence to have...somewhere to go. Other than me or Alistair.”

  
For a long time, all she could hear was the crackling of the fire. She sat and waited, head in her hands, unable to look at Leliana. Sweet, gentle Leliana, who balked at the idea of hurting innocents, who only fought to protect those she cared for, who sang in the quiet moments at camp and had a pet nug and loved freely and openly. What could she think of her warden now?

  
“This...this baby…” Leliana began slowly. “Is it dead, then?”

  
“Not that I’m aware of,” Lyna replied, lifting her head to look at Leliana. “Morrigan said she would go, raise it on her own.”

  
“Will it be normal?”

  
“...no.” Lyna watched the expressions cross Leliana’s face—repulsion, concern, sadness...she couldn’t bear it, and looked away again.

  
“Why?” That one word nearly broke Lyna. It held all of the disgust, the confusion, the hurt, everything she didn’t want to hear.

  
“Like I said,” Lyna whispered, “I was selfish. I didn’t want to die. I wanted to live, to be with you, to travel the world like we said we would. I wanted to settle down with you one day, just you and me, and maybe even raise a family one day. I wanted to live. I wasn’t ready to die.”

  
Lyna looked at her lover, tears dripping off her pointed chin.

  
“And I couldn’t ask Alistair to die for me, either. He’s like a brother to me. I didn’t want him to die. I wanted him to be able to live and love and do what he wanted. What was I supposed to do? To sacrifice myself or my friend? Maybe, if there had been no other way, but there was. And maybe I’m despicable. Maybe I made the wrong choice. But the truth is, I was scared. I didn’t—I don’t—want to die.”

  
And Lyna, leader of the grey wardens, Hero of Ferelden, the killer of the Archdemon, broke down and sobbed.

  
A minute passed, and then there was a soft hand on her back, rubbing soothing circles.

  
“It’s alright, my love,” Leliana murmured. “I understand. Don’t worry. I understand.”

  
She turned her face and buried it in Leliana’s shoulder, crying brokenly. She was so tired.

  
“Hush now,” Leliana soothed. “I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere. We’re in this together.”

  
Hiccuping, Lyna raised her head.

  
“You don’t...you aren’t mad?” she asked, trying to dry her cheeks.

  
“At first, I was...a bit appalled, to tell the truth,” Leliana said, wiping Lyna’s tears away. “But then I realized...if you hadn’t done this, you’d be dead, and I’d be alone, grieving for my lost love. And the country needs its Hero. So no, I’m not mad. I’m simply grateful you’re still here.”

  
With a small smile, Lyna kissed her, a great weight having been lifted from her shoulders. She was alive, Leliana was alive, and all was well.

**Author's Note:**

> soooo i chose to let Morrigan perform her creepy demon baby ritual thing bc i’m selfish and didn’t want my warden to die, and since i was feeling kinda really guilty about choosing that i decided to write this!


End file.
